Joined: Nov 17, 2004 Posts: 5222 Location: Tennessee, USA
Posted: Fri Aug 26, 2005 6:25 pm Post subject: I wish I hadn't said that...
Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the
words back or that you could crawl into a hole? Testimonials of a few
people who did.
1. I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and
asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow-job?" I
turned around and walked back out and never went back.
2. I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I
was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing
for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking
gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without
thinking, looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's
balls."
3. My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a
variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the
boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I am
just looking at your nuts."
My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned and I turned
beet-red and walked away.
4. While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to
release some pent up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab
hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other
patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she
would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a
voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I'll tell
Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!"
The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the
tellers stopped what they were doing.
I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my
daughter in tow.
The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me were screams of
laughter.
5. Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My
three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was
on at him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch
in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While
enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my
seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No." I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had an
accident and I don't have any clothes with me." Then I said, "Danny,
did you have an accident?" " No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must
have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse.
Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny, did you have an accident?"
This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his
cheeks and yelled: "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While 30 people nearly
choked to death on their tacos laughing. He calmly pulled up his pants
and sat down.
An old couple made me feel better by thanking me for the best laugh
they'd ever had!
6. This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very
embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think
before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any. We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard! _________________ http://twitter.com/HQ_Shark2th
forahobby Administrator
Joined: May 22, 2003 Posts: 23944 Location: NSW, Australia
Posted: Sat Aug 27, 2005 3:51 am Post subject:
heheheh.. lol.. my god..
thanks for the laugh mate.. Always good..
Quote:
This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very
embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think
before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any. We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!
Joined: Feb 07, 2005 Posts: 2743 Location: Florida
Posted: Sat Aug 27, 2005 2:09 pm Post subject:
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Damn the things people say.. _________________
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