Joined: Nov 17, 2004 Posts: 5222 Location: Tennessee, USA
Posted: Wed Jun 01, 2005 6:43 pm Post subject: Quantas... the airline of choice.
Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane but only a high school diploma to fix one.
Reassurance for those of us who fly routinely.
After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.
Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' Pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.
By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
+++
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
+++
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
+++
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
+++
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
+++
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
+++
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
+++
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're for.
+++
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
+++
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
+++
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
+++
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
+++
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
+++
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
+++
And the best one for last..................
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget. _________________ http://twitter.com/HQ_Shark2th
funkydopeloven Xbox-Hq Genius
Joined: Nov 30, 2004 Posts: 1942
Posted: Wed Jun 01, 2005 6:54 pm Post subject:
rs6_n2o Xbox-Hq Genius Xbox Version: XBOX V1.0 Modded: Xenium ICE
Joined: Sep 12, 2004 Posts: 1776 Location: earth
Posted: Wed Jun 01, 2005 10:46 pm Post subject:
muahaha _________________ XBOX
Xenium ICE
120 gig hdd
clear jewel with round cathode
cathode under the front of the xbox
XBOX360
Painted Black
Blue Ring of Light
Black Wireless Controller with Blue LEDs
XBOX360
stock
PS3
stock
forahobby Administrator
Joined: May 22, 2003 Posts: 23944 Location: NSW, Australia
Posted: Thu Jun 02, 2005 6:59 am Post subject:
Quantas eh.. Australian hehehe no wonder they havent crashed yet majorly.. hehe (touch wood)..
bloody funny comments from the service guys.. lol
got me laughing and ive had one of the worst weeks of my life.. Particularly the last couple fo days.
Joined: Feb 07, 2005 Posts: 2743 Location: Florida
Posted: Mon Jun 06, 2005 3:27 pm Post subject:
give the midget back his hammer, in case the cat misses the mouse. _________________
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