Joined: Nov 17, 2004 Posts: 5222 Location: Tennessee, USA
Posted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 4:45 pm Post subject: How to stay married
1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a
little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds.
Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.
3. I take my wife everywhere.....
but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our
anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!"
she said.
So I suggested the kitchen.
5. always hold hands.
If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric
bread maker.
She said "There are too many gadgets and no place
to sit down!" .. So I bought her an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because
there was water in the carburetor.
I asked where the car was; she told me "In the lake."
8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off.
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling "Am I too late
for the garbage?" .... The driver said "No, jump in!"
10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her
first name was Always.
12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.
I don't like to interrupt her.
13. The last fight was my fault though! My wife asked "What's on the TV?"
I said "Dust!" _________________ http://twitter.com/HQ_Shark2th
rs6_n2o Xbox-Hq Genius Xbox Version: XBOX V1.0 Modded: Xenium ICE
Joined: Sep 12, 2004 Posts: 1776 Location: earth
Posted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 6:10 pm Post subject:
that would suck so much if ur wife had a little secret like that in the pic. that is so nasty. anyway number 6 and 9 were pretty sweet. haha 69. anyway ttyl _________________ XBOX
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Shark2th Moderator
Joined: Nov 17, 2004 Posts: 5222 Location: Tennessee, USA
Posted: Wed Jan 18, 2006 3:58 pm Post subject:
We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition for each is listed below:
GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: "Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"
BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say: "You're next."
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