Joined: Apr 29, 2005 Posts: 982 Location: ACT, Australia
Posted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 8:13 am Post subject: 2008 Public Service Exam
2008 Public Service Exam
Welcome to this year's public service exam. I see that all of you have been able to find yourself a seat and desk so obviously you've got what it takes to be public servants.
Should you pass this exam and become a member of the public service, you will enjoy not only the esteem and envy of all your friends but also a unique package of fringe benefits, including:
- An early retirement scheme which allows you to retire while still turning up for work
- Flexitime which enables you to decide when you don't want to work at work and when you don't want to work away from work
- Free use of government stationery (this has been facilitated by the introduction of eight-items-or-less lanes as you leave the building
I must at this stage warn all examinees that anyone found cheating or copying from their neighbour's paper will be automatically assigned to Parliament.
Please answer the following question in the spaces provided on your answer sheet.
If you went to lunch at 12 noon and came back to work at 2:30pm how long have you had for lunch?
The answer of course is half an hour.
1. If you are about to take your lunch break and a female member of the general public comes with an inquiry, you should address her by saying:
a) Can I help you, madam?
b) Can I help you, miss?
c) What can I do you for, mate?
d) How's tricks, doll-face
The correct answer is 'none of the above'.
This is a trick question. If you are about to take your lunch break, you shouldn't talk to her at all.
2. If a member of the general public phones up with a complaint and you realize that the file on this matter has been lost. You should say:
a) We are looking into the matter
b) Can I get back to you on this one?
c) The matters have been referred to another committee
d) I haven't had a chance to look into it yet.
The correct answer is 'you should tell them that they have the wrong telephone extension'
Spell the following words:
This is the end of the examination.
Please sign your exam paper illegibly and pass it to those collecting them, while denying that you have ever seen or heard anything about it.
Guide to performance appraisals:
GREAT PRESENTATION SKILLS = Able to bull sh #t
GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS = Spends a lot of time on the phone
AVERAGE EMPLOYEE = Not too bright
EXCEPTIONALLY WELL QUALIFIED = Made no major blunders - yet
WORK IS FIRST PRIORITY = Too ugly to get a date
ACTIVE SOCIALLY = Drinks a lot
FAMILY IS ACTIVE SOCIALLY = Spouse drinks, too
INDEPENDENT WORKER = Nobody knows what he/she does
QUICK THINKING = Offers plausible excuses
CAREFUL THINKER = Wont make a decision
AGGRESSIVE = Obnoxious
USES LOGIC ON DIFFICULT JOBS = Gets someone else to do it
EXPRESSES THEMSELVES WELL = Speaks English
METICULOUS ATTENTION TO DETAIL = A nit picker
HAS LEADERSHIP QUALITIES = Is tall or has a loud voice
EXCEPTIONALLY GOOD JUDGEMENT = Lucky
KEEN SENSE OF HUMOUR = Knows a lot of dirty jokes
CAREER MINDED = Back Stabber
LOYAL = Can't get a job anywhere else
bomernee Xbox-Hq Genius
Xbox Version: Xbox v1.4 Modded: Xecuter 3
Joined: Apr 20, 2006 Posts: 1105 Location: UK
Posted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 12:40 pm Post subject:
Joined: May 22, 2003 Posts: 23512 Location: NSW, Australia
Posted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 5:11 pm Post subject:
Man.. Aussie so much.. I had a huge problem with some public servants just the other day.. Man can they make your life a drama.. lol
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