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Shark2th
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Joined: Nov 17, 2004
Posts: 5222
Location: Tennessee, USA

Post Posted: Thu Dec 21, 2006 3:24 pm   
Post subject: Banned by the mall...
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While Christmas shopping at the mall for the kids, and I got bored.
My wife was browsing (as women love to do at the mall) so I occupied myself until it was time to check out.
I got this letter addressed to my wife in the mail last night.
WTF!?!?!?!?! Shocked

Over the past few days, your husband has been causing
quite a commotion in our mall. We cannot tolerate this
behavior and may ban both of you from our stores. We have
documented all incidents on our video surveillance
equipment. All complaints against you are listed
below.

1. Dec 11: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them
in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. Dec 12: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off
at 5-minute intervals.

3. Dec 13: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor
leading to the restrooms.

4. Dec 14: Walked up to an employee and told her in an
official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares... and watched what
happened.

5. Dec 15: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag
of M&M's on layaway.

6. Also Dec 15: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a
carpeted area.

7. Dec 16: Set up a tent in the camping department and
told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring
pillows from the bedding department.

8. Dec 17: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he
begins to cry and asks, 'Why can't you people just leave me
alone?'

9. Dec 18: Looked right into the security camera; used it as
a mirror, and picked his nose.

10. Also Dec 18: While handling guns in the hunting department,
asked the clerk if he knows where to find the
antidepressants.

11. And again on Dec 18: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly
humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. Dec 19: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna
look" using different size funnels.

13. Also Dec 19: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse
through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. Dec 20: When an announcement came over the loud
speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO!
It's those voices again!!!!"

And last, but not least .

15. Dec 20: Went into a fitting room, shut the door waited
awhile, then yelled very loudly, "There is no toilet paper
in here!"

Geez... well Merry Christmas anyways!! Twisted Evil

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Shark2th
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Joined: Nov 17, 2004
Posts: 5222
Location: Tennessee, USA

Post Posted: Thu Dec 21, 2006 5:18 pm   
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OH!
This is the only gift I want for Christmas!

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thepita23
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Joined: Aug 06, 2004
Posts: 244

Post Posted: Fri Dec 22, 2006 12:37 am   
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this is the best thing ever posted on hq!
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Kai Tag=pitafragman
Ref= Da Goat, Itliain Ice, J8994, ScarFace


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hellblazer55
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Joined: Oct 03, 2005
Posts: 6381
Location: Canada

Post Posted: Fri Dec 22, 2006 1:19 am   
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no these are lol






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forahobby
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Joined: May 22, 2003
Posts: 23942
Location: NSW, Australia

Post Posted: Fri Dec 22, 2006 4:07 am   
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hahah... gave me a good laugh.. Thanks all.
Stay safe these holidays boys and girls...

l8r

hobbs
http://www.xbox-hq.com

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enigma516
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Joined: Feb 07, 2005
Posts: 2743
Location: Florida

Post Posted: Fri Dec 22, 2006 4:15 pm   
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LMAO!!!!!!! you never cease to amaze me sharky... Laughing
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