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stevieb
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Xbox Version: V1.6x
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Joined: Aug 03, 2005
Posts: 162
Location: UK

Post Posted: Wed Feb 15, 2006 10:53 pm   
Post subject: stupid call centre conversations......
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Actual call centre conversations !!!!!
>>>
>>> Customer: "I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get
>>> through
>> to
>>> enquiries, can you help?".
>>> Operator: "Where did you get that number from, sir?".
>>> Customer: "It was on the door to the Travel Centre".
>>> Operator: "Sir, they are our opening hours".
>>>
>> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
>>> ---------------------------------------------------
>>> Samsung Electronics
>>> Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"
>>> Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking
>>> about".
>>> Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that
>>> I
>>> need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone
>>> Jack
>>> before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"
>>> Operator: "I think you mean the telephone point on the wall".
>>> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>>> RAC Motoring Services
>>> Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am
>>> travelling
>>> in Australia?"
>>> Operator: Doesn't the product give you a clue?
>>> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>>> Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France):
>>> "If I register my car in France, do I have to change the steering wheel
>>> to
>>> the other side of the car?"
>>> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>>> Directory Enquiries
>>> Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please".
>>> Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?"
>>> Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B'
>>> fell
>>> off".
>>> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>>> Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
>>> Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"
>>> Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland".
>>> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>>> On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone
>>> box
>>> told a worried operator: "I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the
>> window
>>> to write the number on".
>>> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>>> Tech Support:
>>> "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop".
>>> Customer: "OK".
>>> Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?".
>>> Customer: "No".
>>> Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
>>> Customer: "No".
>>> Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this
>>> point?". Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote
>> 'click'".
>>> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>>> Tech Support: "OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can
>>> you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
>>> Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
>>> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>>> Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised
>> that
>>> I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file
>> back
>>> again?".
>>> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>>> There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a
>> long
>>> time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This
>>> is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed
>>> from
>> a
>>> recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the
>> Help
>>> Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word
>> Perfect
>>> organization for "Termination without Cause".
>>>
>>> Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.
>>> (Now I know why they record these conversations!):
>>>
>>> Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; May I help you?"
>>> Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
>>> Operator: "What sort of trouble??">
>>> Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words
>>> went
>>> away."
>>> Operator: "Went away?"
>>> Caller: "They disappeared."
>>> Operator: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
>>> Caller: "Nothing."
>>> Operator: "Nothing??"
>>> Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
>>> Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"
>>> Caller: "How do I tell?"
>>> Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"
>>> Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"
>>> Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
>>> Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I
>>> type."
>>> Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"
>>> Caller: "What's a monitor?"
>>> Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.
>>> Does
>>> it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"
>>> Caller: "I don't know."
>>> Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the
>>> power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"
>>> Caller: "Yes, I think so."
>>> Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's
>>> plugged
>>> into the wall. Caller: "Yes, it is."
>>> Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there
>> were
>>> two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"
>>>
>>> Caller: "No."
>>> Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find
>> the
>>> other cable."
>>> Caller: "Okay, here it is."
>>> Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into
>>> the
>>> back of your computer."
>>> Caller: "I can't reach."
>>> Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"
>>> Caller: "No."
>>> Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way
>> over??"
>>> Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's
>>> because
>>> it's dark."
>>> Operator: "Dark??"
>>> Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is
>> coming
>>> in from the window." Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."
>>> Caller: "I can't."
>>> Operator: "No? Why not??"
>>> Caller: "Because there's a power failure."
>>> Operator: "A power...................................... A power
>>> failure?
>>> Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and
>> manuals
>>> and packing stuff your computer came in??"
>>> Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
>>> Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just
>>> like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought
>>> it
>>> from."
>>> Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"
>>> Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
>>> Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"
>>> Operator: "Tell them you're too f*%king stupid to own a computer".

Stevieb


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enigma516
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Joined: Feb 07, 2005
Posts: 2743
Location: Florida

Post Posted: Wed Feb 15, 2006 11:18 pm   
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OMFG!!! That was Hilarious
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AngelosDracul
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Xbox Version: V1.6x
Modded: softmod

Joined: Mar 24, 2005
Posts: 1755

Post Posted: Thu Feb 16, 2006 12:06 am   
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Being an ex telemarketer... Excuse me, professional fundraiser... o.O I find that last one ABSOF00KINGLUTELY hilarious. So many times when I've met stupid idiots like that... My sister and I laughed for about 10 minutes. Good find on that, Stevie. That seriously just made my freakin day!
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Shark2th
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Joined: Nov 17, 2004
Posts: 5222
Location: Tennessee, USA

Post Posted: Thu Feb 16, 2006 2:37 pm   
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Mujibar was trying to get into the USA legally through Immigration.

The Officer said, "Mujibar, you have passed all the tests, except there is one more test. Unless you pass it, you cannot enter the United States of America"

Mujibar said, "I am ready."

The Officer said, "Make a sentence using the words Yellow, Pink and Green."

Mujibar thought for a few minutes and said, "Mister Officer, I am ready."

The Officer said, "Go ahead."

Mujibar said, "The telephone goes green, green, green, and I pink it up, and say, 'Yellow, this is Mujibar.' "

Mujibar now lives in a neighborhood near you and works at a Verizon Help Desk.

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Greven
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Xbox Version: Xbox V1.6
Modded: Xecuter 3 CE

Joined: Jan 19, 2006
Posts: 2755
Location: Calgary, Alberta, Canada

Post Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2006 7:40 am   
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I don't know even where to begin. I work in a call centre for a satellite company, and some of the funniest lines:

Me: Ok, can you turn the receiver back on?
Customer: How do I do that?
Me: uhhhh... how do you normally turn it on?
Customer: I dunno.
Me: Do you turn it on yourself?
Customer(a little pissed): Yes!
Me: Then do what you normally do when you wanna watch tv.
Customer: Ok, lemme turn it on, hold on a second.


Customer: The single on my disk is low, whats wrong?
Me: Can you see any snow or ice on your dish?
Customer: Oh, my dish has fallen off my house. Could that be whats wrong?

Just my two cents


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