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Xbox-Hq.Com :: View topic - Jokes sure to offend everyone...
Xbox-Hq.Com Forum Index -> Jokes and Picture of the Day
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Shark2th
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Post Posted: Tue Dec 06, 2005 4:48 pm   
Post subject: Jokes sure to offend everyone...
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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan

Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.

What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
45 lbs

What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes

What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.

Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

Why does Mike Tyson cry during s3x?
Mace will do that to you.

Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ?
Everyone has the same DNA.

Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
He walks around saying "Yo."

Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.

Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
They named him "Sum Ting Wong

What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.

What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
They're hiring.

What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe."

How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..."

Why is there no Disneyland in China ?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides

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roo465
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Post Posted: Tue Dec 06, 2005 11:25 pm   
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lol, good to see you keep the laughs coming!

Quote:
Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.


Dunno if this is apppropriate, but i thought it was funny Very Happy

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enigma516
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Posts: 2743
Location: Florida

Post Posted: Tue Dec 06, 2005 11:34 pm   
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LMAO!!! Like I've said before, you have issues... Laughing
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boxdin
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Posts: 19
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Post Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2005 12:20 am   
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Gold Very Happy The fairytail one wins lol!
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slick_j_2002
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Post Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2005 2:46 am   
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Hahaha!

Damn, I'll have to remember some of them for those awkward moments when you're sitting with a girl's parents while she's upstairs finishing getting ready...


Thanks, Shark2th.


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forahobby
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Joined: May 22, 2003
Posts: 23676
Location: NSW, Australia

Post Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2005 6:07 am   
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heheh.. funny as always..
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Shark2th
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Location: Tennessee, USA

Post Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2005 3:20 pm   
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Not quite as offensive
1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It.

2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way.

3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest?
They Take The Psycho Path

4. How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil The Hell Out Of It.

5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
Dam!

6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
Polaroid's

7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
A Stick

8.. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
Nacho Cheese.

9.. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.

10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quattro Sinko..

11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk.

12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
Frostbite.

13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A Nervous Wreck.

14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef.

15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
Right Where You Left Him.

16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers .

17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It Scares The Dog.

18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
Sanka.

19. What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover?!
The Location Of The Dirt Bag.

20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.

21. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?
A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang!
A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack

22. How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same? !
Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer

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Cannabox
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Posts: 108
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Post Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2005 7:21 pm   
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the offensive ones were funny as shit.
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