Joined: Nov 17, 2004 Posts: 5222 Location: Tennessee, USA
Posted: Mon Aug 22, 2005 4:23 pm Post subject:
Some people are like Slinkies... (shortacid)
Not really good for anything,
but they still bring a smile to your
face when you push them down a
flight of stairs. _________________ http://twitter.com/HQ_Shark2th
enigma516 V.I.P. Lifetime
Joined: Feb 07, 2005 Posts: 2743 Location: Florida
Posted: Mon Aug 22, 2005 4:24 pm Post subject:
Shortacid fall down and go boom.. _________________
Shark2th Moderator
Joined: Nov 17, 2004 Posts: 5222 Location: Tennessee, USA
Posted: Tue Aug 23, 2005 6:28 pm Post subject:
NEW WORDS FOR 2005 - Essential additions for the workplace
vocabulary:
BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline
was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager who flies in, sh*ts on everything, and
then flies back out.
ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success
and advancement by kissing the boss' butt rather than working hard.
SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming
upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.
CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.
PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a
cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going
on.
MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch
potato.
SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What
yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working
to stay home with the kids.
STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out
and whiny.
SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless
because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying
but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The Anna Nichol show
or the Bachelor is a prime example.
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the heck out of an
electronic device to get it to work again.
ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just
above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are
often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were
designed to solve.
404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message
"404 Not Found" (meaning that the requested document, like the person's
brain, could not be located).
GENERICA: Features of the North American landscape that is exactly
the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls,
subdivisions.
OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize
that you've just made a BIG mistake.
WOOFYS: Well Off Older Folks.
CROP DUSTING: Surreptitious flatulence while passing thru a cube
farm, or any other public place, then enjoying the sounds of dismay and
disgust (this often leads to PRAIRIE DOGGING).
And lest we forget:
ANAL GLAUCOMA: Used as an excuse for not showing up for work.
Translation "I just couldn't see my a** coming in to work today." _________________ http://twitter.com/HQ_Shark2th
Shark2th Moderator
Joined: Nov 17, 2004 Posts: 5222 Location: Tennessee, USA
Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2005 9:05 pm Post subject:
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who run in front of car get tired.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man with one chopstick go hungry.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Panties not best thing on earth! But next to best thing on earth.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.
Joined: Feb 07, 2005 Posts: 2743 Location: Florida
Posted: Thu Nov 03, 2005 12:38 am Post subject:
Here are a few of my favorites:
man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time all day long
---------------------------------------------------------------------
man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day
-------------------------------------------------------
Man who go to bed with itchy butt wake up with smelly fingers
------------------------------------------------------------------------
confucuis say man who sit in jelly have ass in jam
------------------------------------------------------------------
Seven day honeymoon make one whole week.
--------------------------------------------------------------
marriage and job very different, job still sucks after one year.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
man with penis in peanut butter jar, fucking nuts
---------------------------------------------------------
Those who quote me are fools.
-------------------------------------------------------
Confucius say too damn much. _________________
blighty Xbox-HQ Freak
Joined: Nov 27, 2004 Posts: 881
Posted: Thu Nov 03, 2005 12:56 am Post subject:
Damn!
This is me to a T.
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the heck out of an
electronic device to get it to work again.
In many cases it also leads to electronics devices being spread around a large area just like one of those exploding diagrams but without the paper.
Joined: Nov 17, 2004 Posts: 5222 Location: Tennessee, USA
Posted: Tue Nov 07, 2006 2:05 pm Post subject:
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know
where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch
when I ask where the toilet is?
2 People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room
for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the
channel manually.
3 When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too".
Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
4 When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is.
Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do
this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!
5 When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I
paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.
6 People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a
choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!' Which is it? If it's new, then
there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then
there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.
8 When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest
damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?
9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come
yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass? _________________ http://twitter.com/HQ_Shark2th
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