Joined: Nov 17, 2004 Posts: 5222 Location: Tennessee, USA
Posted: Mon Nov 21, 2005 6:06 pm Post subject: Sh*t Vito!
A teacher asks her class, "If there are five birds sitting on a
fence, and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on
Little Vito.
He replies, "None. They will all fly away with the first
gunshot."
The teacher replies, "The correct answer is four, but I like
your thinking."
Then, Little Vito says, "I have a question for YOU. There are
three women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking
the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone.
The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose
the one that gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
To which Little Vito replied, "The correct answer is 'the one
with the wedding ring on,' but I like your thinking."
Little Vito on Math
Little Vito returns from school, and he says he got an "F" in
arithmetic.
"Why?" asks Little Vito's father?
"The teacher asked me: 'How much is 2x3? I said '6," replies
Little Vito.
"But that's right!" says Little Vito's Dad.
"Yeah, but then she asked me: "How much is 3x2?"
"What's the fucking difference?" asks Little Vito's father.
"That's what I said!"
Little Vito on English
Little Vito goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today, we are
going to learn multi-syllable words, Class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?"
Little Vito says, "Mas-tur-bate."
Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, Little Vito, that's a
mouthful."
Little Vito says, "No, Miss Rogers. You're thinking of a
blow-job."
Little Vito on Grammar
Little Vito was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he
needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!"
The teacher replied, "Now, VITO, that is NOT the proper word to
use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.' Please
use the word 'ur-i-nate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you
to go."
Little Vito, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight,
but if you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!"
Little Vito on More Grammar
One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for
a show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice correctly.
First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My
father bought my mother a beautiful dress, and she looked beautiful in it"
"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher She then called on
little Michael.
"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet, and it turned out
beautiful."
She said, "Excellent, Michael!" Then the teacher reluctantly
called on Little Vito.
He said, "Last night at the dinner table, my sister
told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, "Beautiful, just
fucking beautiful!"
Little Vito on Getting Older
Little Vito was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy
bar after another. After the 6th one, a man on the bench across from him
said to him, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will
give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."
Little Vito replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a
time?"
dprules Xbox-HQ Elite Member Xbox Version: v1.0 Modded: xenium ice + U.S.A.
Joined: Jun 16, 2005 Posts: 226 Location: porterville california
Posted: Thu Nov 24, 2005 6:07 am Post subject:
LOL! ur-i-nate HA! thats funny shit. keep it up shark i like to laugh my ass off once in a while. _________________ xbox v1.0
Xenium ICE + U.S.A.
Samsung 616T modified
160 western digital
XBMC, Avalaunch, UnleashX, MxM
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