Joined: Nov 17, 2004 Posts: 5222 Location: Tennessee, USA
Posted: Wed Apr 20, 2005 8:40 pm Post subject: The Parrott
A woman goes into a pet shop looking for a parrot. The assistant shows her a beautiful African Grey parrot.
"What about this one, Madam? A beautiful bird, I'm sure you'll agree, and it's an absolute steal at only $20."
"Why is it that cheap?" the woman asks.
"Well", replies the assistant, it used to live in a brothel and as a result its language is a touch lively."
"Oh, I don't mind that", said the woman, making her mind up, I'm broad minded and it'll be a laugh having a profane parrot".
So saying, she buys the parrot and takes him home. Once safely in his new home, the parrot looks around and squawks at the woman, "F*ck me, a new brothel and a new madam"
I'm not a madam and this isn't a brothel" says the woman Indignantly.
A little later the woman's two teenage daughters arrive home.
"A new brothel, a new madam, and now new prostitutes" says the parrot when he sees the daughters.
"Mum, tell your parrot to shut-up,we're not prostitutes" complained the girls, but they all see the funny side and have a laugh at their new pet.
A short while later, the woman's husband comes home.
Well holy sh*t! A new brothel, a new madam, new whores, but the same old clients. How ya doin', Steve?"
Joined: Mar 20, 2004 Posts: 45 Location: Chicago, Il
Posted: Wed Apr 27, 2005 11:54 pm Post subject: Another Parrot
David received a parrot for his birthday. This
parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and
worse vocabulary. Every other word was an
expletive. Those that weren't expletives were,
to say the least, rude.
David tried hard to change the bird's attitude
and was constantly saying polite words, playing
soft music, and anything else that came to mind.
Nothing worked. He yelled at the bird and the
bird got worse. He shook the bird and the bird
got madder and ruder.
Finally, in a moment of desperation, David put the
parrot in the freezer. For a few moments he heard
the bird squawking, kicking and screaming and then,
suddenly, all was quiet.
David, frightened that he might have actually hurt
the bird, quickly opened the freezer door. The bird
calmly stepped out onto David's extended arm and
said, "I'm sorry that I offended you with my language
and actions. I ask for your forgiveness."
David was astounded at the bird's change in attitude
and was about to ask what changed him when the
parrot continued, "May I ask what the chicken did? _________________ *Xbox 1.4.
*Xenium
*Maxtor 250 gb HDD
*EvoX M8
*EvoX Dashboard
ReSpawNx6 V.I.P. Lifetime Xbox Version: V1.6 Modded: SmartXX v2.0
Joined: Nov 12, 2004 Posts: 77 Location: Alaska
Posted: Thu Apr 28, 2005 12:02 am Post subject:
Thanks for the jokes. They make my day. At least until work blocks this site like everything else.
ReSpawNx6
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